Supportive Friends Gifts

Lady about 'One Date at a Time' Bumpersticker: 'He's trying to stay sober, but he's still a lady's man.'

Gamblers Anonymous - 'I think you're in the wrong room...'

Well, that was fun. Sure was. People throwing soda at us. Calling us names. Pelting us with ice. I want to thank you guys for sticking up for me against those bullies. You're both very tough. I'm so good. Of course, dear. I did seem tough.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Holding hands

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Priest

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

If you want to see love be love.

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"It turns out you can 'take it with you' if you pack correctly."

Red Letter Days - Encounter with the old village sweetheart - 'bless my soul! ... Miss Victoire! ...'

'Hon, can you fill the dog's water dish?'

"It keeps it out of sight when we're not watching it."

The Friendship Between Death and the Doctor.

Young Gums

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"If the weather stays good, we could end up in a very prestigious 1992 Cabernet Sauvignon."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I think I can". (train)

'It makes baptisms a lot more fun for everyone.'

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

Tongue in the ear...

"The doctor would like you to pee into this chalice."

Mime Baby

"I like New York, but I miss sleeping drunk on my front lawn."