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'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

Yearbook

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

'Jerry's 'old school'.'

Paul goes home for the holidays

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

'146 days of leadership without any negative press.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

Patey's in a band! He's so cool!

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

King of Music.

'Oh, Christ.'

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

For our eco-night entertainment we have Kim's "Dance Against Global Warming," Zahir's "Rap for the Eco Cure" and Twig's "Post-Carbon Poetry Slam." How about you, Jason? I'll explain metal organic vapor deposition in solar panels. Well! We'll see who's into heavy metal.

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

Thanks for the lift, Nana. Don't get any big ideas about acting. It's just a high school musical. I guess you aren't coming back to see the show. Correct. Tonight! Cats! Spring musical. That's ok. Slam! I'm parking now to get a front row seat!

Our eco-prom theme is "Jungle Paradise." Decorations will be live plants. I see where this is leading. Can you bring in trees and bushes for the night? Sure. But

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"Yay! School is done!!"

'Oh, we don't actually teach math any more ? we found it was too hard on the kids' self-esteem.'

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'