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At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

Coronavirus Debate

Differing thoughts of male and female.

"Helen, is it just the accountant in me, or am I sensing a tone of wistful melancholy and a bittersweet acceptance of the unfathomable mysteries of corporate life in those numbers?"

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

Caterpillar Paranoia

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

Man reading magazine: 'International Procrastinator.'

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

'All the girls say the same thing. You're a sweet guy, but...'

A man with the world on his mind inspects the world

"Speed is its defining quality - hence the name 'Large' Hadron Collider."

'I used to get ecstatic whenever I saw him. Now it's more like ecstatic cling.'

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'We may be good eggs, but we're not perfect. We all have a fallen nature.'

'Nobody takes you seriously? -- Are you trying to be funny?'

'Have you noticed how our days are getting shorter.'

The Master Switch

I want to thank you Mycroft for sticking by me, now that things are a bit tricky.

"I've given up trying to do a cardio workout."

Sad Humour

Really? A date with me is like a religious experience? How so? It reminds me of snake-handling.

'You could at least have waited until I put on my make-up!'

"According to my financial advisor, dying was a lucky break before my savings ran out."

"Oh, a guy paid me to take his place here."

"My parents wanted me to join the priesthood, but I didn't think I'd have the stomach for that much controversy."

"Your call is important to us. Please hold for hours, howl obscenities, punch a hole in the wall and hang up."

'We tape up sore ankles. We tape up sore wrists. We even tape up sore elbows. We do not, however, tape up sore throats.'