Call-hold Contemplator T-Shirts

"Your call is important to us. Please hold for hours, howl obscenities, punch a hole in the wall and hang up."

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Professional woman in pub

Differing thoughts of male and female.

Coronavirus Debate

"I let go of all my earthly attachments, but there's one I can't seem to shake."

'What I especially like about being a philosopher-scientist is that I don't have to get my hands dirty.'

'Do you realize it takes over 2000 laws to enforce the ten commandments?'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

"I give and I give but all they see is take."

"Go forth and multiply under the constraint of sustainability within Nature's framework? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"

This plaque commemorates the trees that was cut down to make space for this bench.

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

Israeli soldier

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'All the girls say the same thing. You're a sweet guy, but...'

'How about bearing false witness for you neighbor?'

At first she didn't want to live if it meant being attached to tubes. But before you knew it, they were getting along just fine.

"As a single diner, you will be seated at an awkward table by the restrooms where your lonely presence won't bother other diners."

'You realize, it may take us awhile to INTERNALIZE these....'

A man with the world on his mind inspects the world

'I used to get ecstatic whenever I saw him. Now it's more like ecstatic cling.'

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

Alcohol 'Nector of the Gods' 'Devils Brew!'

'I live in quiet desperation - it was either that or Tunbridge Wells.'

'You know there were 7,184 waves yesterday. That's just slightly more than usual. I think that's one of my favorite things about island life, there's always a surprise round the corner. What's your favorite thing, Ed?'

Miracle gro bird seed.

The Master Switch

'We may be good eggs, but we're not perfect. We all have a fallen nature.'

I'm torn, Randy. I'm so undecided about this election. You're still undecided about the candidates? No, I'm undecided about whether to be undecided. On the one hand, it could make me seem like I'm unbiased. Like I'm not beholden to any particular ideology. Like I'm above it all. But on the other hand, it could make me look like I'm too dumb to tell the difference between things that are different. Take a couple weeks to ponder that. No rush.

Introverts Anonymous

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Really? A date with me is like a religious experience? How so? It reminds me of snake-handling.

'Just a heads up. The 'Big Guy' is not a fan of religion.'

The Bookstore. Going out of business sale. Words failed me.