Support Line Operator Pillows

Computer Support Line

Atomic Bear: Part 22

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

"I see the downsizing continues."

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Not much money, glory, or praise

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

Robot arm shows charity to a laid off beggar.

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

Thermidor Dali

"Sorry, Pete, but Bill is now my 'go-to' guy. Until further notice, you're my 'anybody-but' guy."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"If you want to talk to someone uninterested, press 1..."

That's weird - every time I call the self-help hotline, it goes straight to my voicemail.

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Computer tech support sacred offering

Call Center.

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

'Try re-installing your system software and turn off any file extensions.'

Hot Line

"Just a few more minutes. The system's down but we got a guy working on it."

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."