Call Operator Pillows

"Thanks for calling the celebration help desk. For assistance with high fives, press one now. For fist bumps, press two, for chest bumps, press three..."

"Will he know what this is regarding?"

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"I see the downsizing continues."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

Thermidor Dali

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"Sir, we've intercepted a transmission regarding a large shipment of eggs, but it's scrambled."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

Call Center.

Ohm sweet Ohm

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

Children's Terrain Rides - kids seated and enjoying themselves in the way they would on a real train.

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

'You're not quite what we had in mind.'

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

'Haa, I've been a 911 operator waay to long to fall for that...'

"I feel like my job in the fossil fuel industry is going the way of the telegraph operator, the pony express rider and the buggy whip maker..."

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'