Telephone Operators Pillows

'Just a moment, Sir, I'm putting you through to someone random!'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"I see the downsizing continues."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"I'll check and see if he's available."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

Thermidor Dali

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"Of course it sends your message digitally. If you want analogue we'll have to saddle up old Bessie."

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"Sir, we've intercepted a transmission regarding a large shipment of eggs, but it's scrambled."

'Your call is very important to us, so please continue to hold.'

Call Center.

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

Ohm sweet Ohm

'Environmental dept? Yes, just a query. It's August, it's 85?. It has been for 3 months now...'

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

'Never mind what I'm wearing!'

"He'll come to eat when he can interrupt dinner. He's playing telemarketer."

"I feel like my job in the fossil fuel industry is going the way of the telegraph operator, the pony express rider and the buggy whip maker..."

'If you don't mind, I'm trying to use the telephone here.'

"If you know what you want, please say so now, otherwise listen carefully, because the menu option have changed."

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'