Telephone Operator Pillows

'Yes sir, we still have Mr Edwards on hold from last thursday...'

Receptionist answering phone: 'Thank you for calling. Please hold until you hang up.'

"Well, please look again, Operator. It's Fluffy-F-L-U-F-F-Y-and she lives in Larchmont."

'Don't ask questions, Ralph, just tell me who you'd rather look like - Sean Connery or Robert Redford.'

"If you are having trouble landing please press one..."

"Oh yes, here it is, early morning call 7:30...I can't imagine how we overlooked it Mr Van Winkle!"

'I used to do a lot of business over the phone, but as soon as Caller ID came along...'

'My Mom was a call girl - and retired after 20 years at the phone company.'

'I can't get through!'

Frantically overworked telephone receptionist getting severly stressed

'Would you like to hear some music while you hold?'

"I see the downsizing continues."

RSI

"Would you please speak more slowly and with a different accent?"

'Mr. Bluebeard isn't available right now - May I take a message?'

"It's more of a conversation piece, really."

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

'Watch your language, I'm not a recording!'

"And for your information, it's not 'to whom am I speaking', it's 'to what am I speaking'."

101 uses of a dead cat: phone.

"This is a computer speaking. I will now misconnect you and your party."

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

'Don't call us, we'll call you, inc,'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

"Please stay on the line – your caul is important to us."

'The number you have reached has gone bankrupt....'

'Smooth Operator' The number you dialled has not been recognised you sexy beast

Mobile Phones

Warning: Operators thieving in this area.

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"Morrison, Robertson, Hitchcock, Brusiloff, Leggett, Winthrop, and ... Oh, hello Muriel."

"Operator, I'd like to make a person-to-person call, and I'd like to reverse the roles."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

"Sorry, sir, you'll have to hang on some more, but I'm going to advance you to priority-hold status."

Putting You Through