Call Center Operator Pillows

'Thank you for taking part in this poll, sir. Here's the first question: What the heck makes you so arrogant to think your opinion could have any kind of importance, sir?'

'Oh, so you want to get nasty? Well, two can play that game! Remember when I told you to have a nice day? I RETRACT IT! Oh, yes I can! I just DID!'

"This call may be monitored for training purposes or just to keep our staff amused."

'That must be lively on-hold music.'

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'

'A human being answered the phone!'

"Your call is important to us - but not important enough...."

'For the wrong department: Press one. . . for a patronizing excuse: Press two. . .'

'Your call is important to us but so are our mocha lattes. Stay on the line. We will be with you shortly.'

'Welcome to the automated booking line. Please state your location.' 'Oxford' 'I'm sorry. I didn't hear that. Please try again.' 'Oxford, you dumb robot!' 'I think you said 'Dumbarton'. Please press '9' to confirm.'

'Your call is important to whoever we are after our last merger.'

'I always wanted to be a ballet dancer - but here at the call-centre I've discovered my true vocation!'

'All of our operators are busy at the moment, please hold the line.'

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

'Callers will be answered in the order of their Fortune 500 ranking.'

Thank you for calling technical support.

"I can assure you sir, you're not 'talking to someone at a call centre in Pakistan'."

"Good morning. This is the White House. Press (1) for disinformation about coronavirus testing; press (2) for disinformation about masks and ventilators; or press (3) for all other corona disinformation."

"You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order."

Call Center.

'I know! I know! But if I can beat chocolate, you can beat heroin!'

Man with Gary name badge answers phone "Hello, you're talking to Dave. How can I help you?"

Thank you for calling the after-life...

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

"Cooling off period? I'm so cold I'll probably never use your services again!"

'Pradeep's in the lead with 326 no replies, 347 hang-ups within three seconds, 576 'Not Interested's and 1837 ***** off's...'

No, this call centre is not in Mumbai...

'Your call is monitored for quality assurance, anyone who stays on hold for 15 minutes is a loser - so we're hanging up!'

Please listen carefully as our menu has changed...

'Hello, you are through to the Marine Circus. Please note that calls may be recorded for training porpoises.'

"And as we don't have any, 'on hold music' I'm going to hum you a little tune."

After budget cuts, emergency services streamlined their phone services.

'I just dialled 999 and got a call centre in Bangalore.'

'Director of Internal Affairs, how may I misdirect your call?'

Cold-calls.