Supernatural Satirist Gifts

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Amateur Vampire Hunters.

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'I'm sorry, Grizwell; but we no longer consider you a necessary evil.'

Advertising meets cryptozoology...

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"Gee, thanks pal."

Physician tending a mummy.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Star Wars vs Star Trek

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"International best seller! It's just a squirrel."

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

'It's not as easy as you think - saddle sores, bursitis in the shoulder, pigeons...'

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

German School

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."