Superhero Mom Pillows

'No, Dear, a 'hot flash' is not a comic book superhero power.'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'I'm on my way!'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

Hassled Mother.

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

'My mom is really important in our house. She's the cook, housekeeper, nanny, lanundress and the boss.'

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

Muscular Dad

"Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan...Sarge Higgins is one hell of a tough guy! But he wouldn't have a chance against my mom - she raised three kids!"

Mother with baby and puppy in a sling and her husband in the buggy.

Add your kids' ages together...

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

"Keeping all out kids does NOT make us hoarders."

Wonder Woman!

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

"So how is being a new mum treating you?"

'Relax, Silly. He's not here for you.'

Potty Training.

'Another day, another dollar.'

Dad reaching into medicine cupboard

Working Mothers.

'When you have boys, you need 'presoak'.'