Superhero Nanny Pillows

'I'm on my way!'

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Coping with a strong-willed child

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

Soap Versus Coronavirus

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

'I didn't get the Owners Manual. I thought you got the Owners Manual.'

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

Childhood Screen Addict

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

Add your kids' ages together...

Covid Vaccine

Muscular Dad

'Whose idea was it that every thanksgiving the women watch romantic comedies all day and we get stuck cleaning up?'

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

'Look, a cloud from when the climate still worked properly'

'This hospital certainly takes cleanliness seriously.'

Mom's Diner - We reserve the right to refuse service to naughty boys!

Potty Training.

Dad reaching into medicine cupboard

"I'll get you a drink of water, but next time, call Dad, not room service."

"I just bought these smart headphones for parents. They mute all sarcastic remarks and complaining from my kids. I programmed them to do the same for my husband."

'Relax, Silly. He's not here for you.'

'It's a 'Super Nanny' idea'.

Still having problems finding day care?'