Superhero Mom Gifts

'No, Dear, a 'hot flash' is not a comic book superhero power.'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'I'm on my way!'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

Hassled Mother.

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

'My mom is really important in our house. She's the cook, housekeeper, nanny, lanundress and the boss.'

"Noah, I'm tired of doing battle with you!"

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

"Kosovo, Iraq, Afghanistan...Sarge Higgins is one hell of a tough guy! But he wouldn't have a chance against my mom - she raised three kids!"

Add your kids' ages together...

Mother with baby and puppy in a sling and her husband in the buggy.

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

Muscular Dad

"Keeping all out kids does NOT make us hoarders."

Wonder Woman!

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

"So how is being a new mum treating you?"

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

'When you have boys, you need 'presoak'.'

Working Mothers.

Mom's Diner - We reserve the right to refuse service to naughty boys!

When we're first born, they clean up our drooling. When we can't swim, they help with our pooling. When halloween comes, they take us ghouling. When homework gets tough, they aid with our schooling. When it gets hot, they make sure we're cooling. Moms are the best! We thank you, no fooling!

'Another day, another dollar.'

Potty Training.