Heroic Mom Gifts

'Your mother deserves a parade and we're going to give it to her.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"I miss the Augean stables."

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

The Yummiest Mummy in the Village

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

JAMES BONDING

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

'Mother will catch you!'

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

"I mean, he does have a point."

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"Among them, my children have eighteen years of accumulated experience harassing their mother!"

'I'm about to throw a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Talk about tough days.'

'My problems seem small to you because you're so darn BIG'

"So how is being a new mum treating you?"

"Ugh. I've been on hold for 20 minutes..."

"All we are saying. . . is give peas a chance!"

"Maybe when they're a little older, my son can help yours with his homework."

"Hey Mom, love your new sweater! #mom #lovemymom #coolmom. . ."

"But is my way the best way to do it???"

'If I had my time over again, I'd be too young to go out with boys.'

Pushchair Mums.

Hot trends on the school run. . .

The way the men in her lab acted when she was pregnant, you'd have thought Ann was going to give birth to seven-pounds of plutonium.

'Mom's really nervous because I've been good for too long.'

'No, Dear, a 'hot flash' is not a comic book superhero power.'