Warrior Mom Pillows

Hot trends on the school run. . .

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'We'll need lots of nappy changes today, the T. V. just said it's going to be wet and windy.'

'Stop pulling that silly face, Dear.'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'If you take this job, you will need child care... that's my second job.'

That's my daughter, Alayna

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

"Has your mom tried turning him off and back on again?"

Buggy with Snowplow.

'Beware of teething baby.'

Woman telling her husband not to swear in front of the baby.

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"No, our company doesn't provide day care or maternity leave."

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

Pinata good bags.

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

Woman feeding baby is covered in food.

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'Hey, Dad. We learned all about the Kama Sutra at school today... Oh no, not the Kama Sutra, I mean The Magna Carta.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

'These are very powerful tranquilizers for when your teen has he horrific tantrums. Take two of them anytime she flares up.'