Superhero Aficionado Gifts

"Do you ever find yourself wondering, 'What would Batman do in this situation?'"

It used to be all about truth and justice. Now, mostly I fight for market share.

"Ahhhh."

"Flying around all day just won't cut it - sooner or later, you're going to have to fight some evil."

"This morning, I looked into the mirror and said to myself, 'Bruce, you're a billionaire. It's time to stop horsing around and enjoy life a little.' "

'Is this gonna raise my premium?'

'When I said I wanted you to 'Champion' customer care Colin, I was thinking more of you chairing some strategy meetings!'

Rejected Spider-man lunchbox ideas

'And what misguided soul gave you the idea that a lot of crime was occurring underwater in the first place?'

'Well, what do you think?!'

'We interrupt this program for a super-special bulletin....'

'Sorry, but I feel you're using your image as a cover for lack of true self!'

Chicken Man.

'Reviewers say it has ups and downs...'

"What about my old age?"

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"What do you think he pays for a lair like this?"

"I never thought I'd live to see so many different Batmans."

A man in a bat mask watches a superhero get changed in a phone box

"Yellow? Don't call us until it's at least an orange alert."

Comic Book Balloons

Superman with nowhere to change

"The hive mind has reached a consensus about 'Wolverine'."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

Looks like another job for Head-On-A-Platter Man!

"Do you have this in rubber?"

'I was about to push him off the building when Captain Crimefighter arrived and did it for me. He saved me from administrative duty!'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

Captain Pointy No.8 -I didn't think my weight would be a factor in flying the plane!

"Wish I'd never teamed up with 'Incontinence Boy'..."

Captain Pointy No.19 - Waving Convention

A Day In The Life Of... Deflector Man

'Herbert, your 'Superdelegate' status has gone to your head.'

Superhero with '?' on breast plate "I forget which superhero I am"

"Damn these super powers!"