Sunday Skeptic Pillows

'Every Sunday I thank God that I'm an atheist!'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Punk Reindeer

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

"Our intelligencia said we will be outnumbered 100 to one, but that we can hope it's only fake news."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

'No, it doesn't have to snow for Santa to get here. He probably drives a big four-wheel-drive SUV ... '

Russian war crimes

"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."

'It says here that most people believe what they read in the papers.'

"I like the Easter Bunny - I find him less judgmental than Santa Claus."

"I've been expecting this...FAKE WEATHER!"

"I'm actually looking forward to age-related hearing loss."

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

'The market fell today because it needed to fail before it could succeed.'

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

The Good News, the Media Nothwithstanding

Rational explanations

'Technically, you do qualify for five weeks of vacation, but your request for 35 Sundays off has to go under review.'

Demon in the elevator. Man says: 'Sorry, are you going up or down?'

I Can't Believe It's Not Fake News

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

About Santa 2017.

"Elvis battles Alien, Britney weds Satan. Man, who reads this garbage?"

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"Wow! My calculations show that on Christmas night, Santa Claus will visit 1 house every .83 seconds!"

Uncle Sam inside a Ukrainian brain.