Sunday Service Satirist Pillows

Vicar wearing shirt back to front instead of dog collar.

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"...and in conclusion..."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

Suburban street.

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

Pastor of Muppets

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

Autumn Leaves

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

Man in church sees sign: Thank you for not yawning.

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Sean Hannity?'

Royal Mail Privatisation

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

Attention: Due to a lack of interest we have dropped the APATHY channel - Sorry for any inconvenience.

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"Thank you, but I don't feel it's necessary for you to play 'Charge' when I invite people to the altar."

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

First Church: Sunday's Topic - Thou Shalt Not Blog Against Thy Neighbour.'

'All right - which country in Europe are you from?'

'Sermon - if he wanted us to eat genetically-modified food, h would have modified them himself.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."