Social Services Satirist Pillows

"The government is totally committed on addressing the needs of the individual client needing care services....this for example is individual no. 13476.GB/43."

'You got yourself a job? -- Don't you care what happens to me?'

Bureaucracy and family

The prying mantis,

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Horse statue throws off rider.

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I'm after the history section."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"It's my helper trout!"

Inhospitality tent.

"God help us, it's that guy."

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

'I'm Anna Nicole Smith. But not THE Anna Nicole Smith!'

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"All the better to ignore you with."

"Sometimes I have this awful feeling I'm really a West Side Person."

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

Wine tasters...