Public Service Satirist Pillows

Royal Mail Privatisation

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Nation-building never works."

"You're fired."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Flags

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"You're on a what?!"

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

The International and May Day Terrorism

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

The economy.

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"We won!"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Trump leaving

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

The americanisation of vulture.

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.