Sunday School Humor Lover Gifts

'Who knocked down the walls of Jericho?'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

Li'l Bill meets destiny.

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

'We had an Old Testament skit today. Al Sims was the Hittite, and I was the hittee.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'How do you like that? We just get through the alphabet and she starts hauling in the heavy artillery!'

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

'Sorry, Jimmy... our school has a strict 'don't show, don't tell' policy!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

"Oh well, if you really want to see some scary chest thumping, come with me now and I'll show my school report to my dad..."

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

Billy strip: help with homework.

"Exactly how long were you home schooled?"

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

"Let's just say my teacher and I agreed to disagree."

"You were sent to the principal again for horsing around? That's so unfair!"

"If it really is a smartphone, why are my grades still lousy?"

'Virgil is on the gymnastics team.'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

'Is it okay if I'm represented by counsel on open-school night?'

"Sorry... My School Aversion Syndrome is totally bad today."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student