Summertime Gifting Gifts

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

Daughters on the beach

"That'll be five bucks."

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

"I might just get a pie."

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

"Not much in the way of loot, but we got a ton of store credit."

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

Loopholes

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Mouse returns home from work.

'Hang on a minute...'

"Ticket and passport, please."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Snake Charming

"Could you pass me up? I'm in row one."

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"Who's the new guy?"

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

"You can already make reservations and travel as soon as climate change has caused sea levels to rise!"

S. S. All You Can Eat

Cannibal recipes.

Ugly genie.

"It's kind of hard to know where these photos were taken: The backgrounds are very similar..."

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."