Sugar Squire T-Shirts

Barrister uses legal speak to ask for two sugars in his tea.

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

Tension filled the tent.

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

Doughnut Making

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"My parents won't allow sugar in the house, so I've had to learn about it on the street."

'Prepare to meet your maker!'

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

The Inn Keeper's Wife and Daughter taking care of the Don after being beaten and bruised.

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

Baker

"I'm not very scary now, but I will be if I don't get candy."

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

"See, that's your problem right there - the roof is mostly sugar."

Souffle recipe book floats away.

'This is gonna be one hellava toffee sticky pudding!'

'It's very important to have balanced diet.'

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

"My summer vacation report contains descriptions of excessive sugar consumption, and unsupervised play. Listener discretion is advised."

"Why have you brought me here?"

"So I said to myself...who am I to deny this calling?"

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

'I wish I'd listened to Sarah Beeny now.'

"I may be your page today, but someday, I hope to be the whole book."

'How do we bake such delicious large muffins that have only 20 calories? Easy, false advertising.'

I resolve to drive past a gym at least twice a week