Sugar-free Superhero Pillows

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

North Pole

'Well, well, well...'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Politically Correct Snowperson

Distance to avoid contagion

'Do you ever think about how we can reduce our global footprint?'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

"Plastic straws. No fish were spared in the making of this product."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

Days without an incident.

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I don't like being a crash dummy either but there are some jobs humans won't do.'

Insurance company agreeing workers' compensation policy in a demolition company.

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

'There's more to life than winning. There's also testing negative for steroids.'

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

Rudolph goes green (with his new compact fluorescent nose)

GM Foods.

'Have you been eating right?'

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."

"Trick or treat, and here's a list of my known food allergies."

"I'd never have imagined such innovative ways of wearing this cape!"

"Your, health check results are excellent. You have the body of an athlete... Although, probably only of bronze medal standard."

'I'm just so worried about mercury in the water and sulfur dioxide in the air.'

Ginger Breadman

Walking the Oil Plank.

"It started with sneaking kale into their spaghetti. Before I knew it I was sneaking homework into their video games."