Sugar Alternatives T-Shirts

"I'm not taking any chances."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Vegetarian Birds

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

Sugar Crunchies - Free Dental Treatment.

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"I'm thinking of switching to an all vegan diet...based on carrots...mainly carrots..."

'They're building one of those new health clubs.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"What've you got that's good for vegans?"

Go Veggie...

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"My veganism begins and ends with eating insects."

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

"Everyone, stop looking delicious. The vegans are back and that tofurkey jerky won't keep them back much longer."

"As vegan zombies, are we allowed to eat brains?"

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

"Unsweetened has some sugar, lightly sweetened has a ton of sugar, and fully sweetened will kill you."

"I'm worried about him - he's praying to Mrs. Butterworth."

'I think sugar substitutes are fattening. Have you noticed that people who use them are usually overweight?'

"Am I still hungry or am I just eating this because it's still there?"

'I don't care if it IS Tofurkey...I am not eating that!'

"Sergio, just for you, I made this cake glucose free.... I don't know how to make glucose free."

You've got to stop condescending to the customers. Whatever do you mean? You abuse them for not recycling, for eating high-fructose sugar, for watching reality tv shows. Hardly. I absolutely understand that some people who have not been blessed with a high level of education and information make foolish divisions. It's not their fault. Condescending! Good use of a big word. HOJ.

'I was arrested for stealing too many artificial sweetener packets from restaurants.'

'We've given up sugar in tea,coffee and puddings.'

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."