Food Alternatives T-Shirts

'I don't care if it IS Tofurkey...I am not eating that!'

Almond Milk, Coconut Milk, and Whole Milk.

'I sent out for everything.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

Counting ribs

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Any time is cake o'clock

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Ice Cream Surgeon

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

What the Doctor Ordered

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

La Table

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

You're the puff in my pastry!

Soup of the month.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."