Succulent Stylist Gifts

Cactus Man.

Plant Lady

Doing the borders.

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

Little Princess.

Thanks

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"Next time you meet me dressed as a giant boy, it's going to cost you a pair of diamond earrings."

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

The Cactus Reader

'Wow - My kind of man.'

No one ever discovered Mad Jake's secret: he was taking a correspondence course in interior decoration.

'One day son, all this will be yours!'

"I opted for the upgrades."

"I called you my little succulent because you're low maintenance."

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is loosen those suspenders!"

Colay's glass bottom boat tours!

"Derek has re-invented himself."

'I think the temperature's a bit low in the Terrarium!'

"To prove I'm human, I check the box. It still won't let me in."

The Plant Place - Drought special!

"Does the phone in my back pocket make my butt look too big?"

Saguaro Cacti.

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

If clothes make the man make sure yours don't make you into a twat.

You had me at succulents!

Say it with cacti

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

"The bed sheet rope made me think plant hanger and then window treatment. It all just started coming together."

'I think you'd look pretty good in a bun.'

Man with curly moustache and eyebrows.

Thanks for having me!

"Aren't you worried that I may be a serial killer..?"