Succulent Savant T-Shirts

"Some cactuses get all the arms."

Plant Lady

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

Thanks

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

The Cactus Reader

'You're new here, aren't you?'

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'One day son, all this will be yours!'

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

'Isn't nature wonderful? All those sycamore seeds fluttering over our garden - and every last one of them fertile.'

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

"The dove certainly helped, but GPS really nailed it."

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

There's the pay TV remote, the set top box remote, the TV remote...now where did I put the worth watching remote?

Saguaro Cacti.

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

Department of Redundancy Department - 'Hot Dog' Frank Wiener, Director

"I hope you don't mind, I've just scribbled a few different ideas!"

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

You had me at succulents!

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.

'Will you get me those healthy eating booklets form the hospital? . . . I need something to start the fire to grill these bratwursts.'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

'It's commendable that you only ate one slice of pizza, but when you're only cutting it in half...'

Dog working as a butcher.

"And as the oceans rise, so too will our power!"