Seedling Savant T-Shirts

'Isn't nature wonderful? All those sycamore seeds fluttering over our garden - and every last one of them fertile.'

The wonderful world of cheese.

Plant Lady

Doing the borders.

"I come here for the pepper."

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'Who cares what she thinks? Grow a pair and buy the damn thing.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Poetry repairman

"We kiss a lot of frogs so that you find your prince."

'Real? No. They're all made out of soy and tofu. We wanted to crack the meatless industry up a few notches.'

Champagne Tasting.

'Two thousand seedlings - and I can't bring myself to throw any of them out.'

"The reason my salt is so expensive is because it's preservative-free."

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

Algernon Swinburne

Garden Shop: Growin' and Rarin' to Grow

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

'Milton, you really did make it to the other side!'

Sponsoring a Panda

'Table 17 wants his salmon seasoned only with sea salt - from the Pacific; between 25 and 30 degrees south latitude.'

"Some cactuses get all the arms."

Happy Holiday Trees

Pub Quiz: 'I don't know much about history, don't know much biology ... but we'll be OK if there's a round on song lyrics.'

"I could pass him, but he's one of the sponsors."

Grumpy Moody Boy.

'Great news, I've just swum the channel...lenthwise.'

Clancy Strip: At the Suit Sale

'Larry, that tie is not your friend.'

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

"Working on your M.Ed. thesis when you should be teaching is not closing the research-classroom gap."

A man walks towards "Enlightenment" while his feet walk towards "Sandals".