Success Philosopher T-Shirts

"I fail to see why this is such an achievement."

'I can't be sure, of course, but I like to think that I wouldn't have let success go to my head.'

Butterfly Woman

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Bullseye!

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

"You need to justify your own existence first."

Boom

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Aging Support Group

Jumping Man

Mountain Tops Incorporated

Experience is important, so I'm inclined to leave questions of ethics to those who have them.

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"You're allowed to think outside the box, as long as you stay inside the margins."

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

Worked Well In Groups...

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

'I'm very worried that if we fail to introduce rigid protocols to maximise client gratification indices within acceptable costbenefit parameters to ensure enhanced margins...then we'll have missed the whole point of what Christmas is about!!!'