Failure Philosopher T-Shirts

'You know creativity involves a high tolerance for failure, don't you?'

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

'My website? Oh, it was a bit of a one hit wonder.'

'I need someone who can relate to failure.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"They're very time-sensitive."

The Best Laid Plans

'Let me get this straight: you'll answer three questions, but only three questions? No kidding? Boy, is this my lucky day or what?'

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

"I refuse to go down with the ship."

"Of course failure is an option; I use it all the time!"

'If fate had been kinder, either of us might be living in the White House.'

"I've half a mind to protest."

'Violence solves everything...'

Chapter 3. Andrew's scheme backfires.

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

"So using all those brown coffee filters literally bought me nothing?"

'Oh, I'm unemployed -- but it's not as exciting as it sounds.'

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

"I'm not a fallen angel, precisely, but I have had a few stumbles."

"I'm a wunderkind slash flop."

Covid Timer

Dice with death.

'Of course, the worst may never happen. There is always that chance.'

"Well, your numbers seem unlucky - five and seven to run concurrently."

"Hit 'em right after they won the lottery."

"The prophecy!"

The cruel hand of fate...

'Milt should be home anytime... moaning as usual about the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.'

Recycling bank for illusions,

"Someday, you may thank me for breaking what was becoming, in this family, a viscous cycle of inheritance!"

'Have one yourself, landlord - I've just failed my 1000th candidate!'