Success Skeptics T-Shirts

'Oh, please no, ma'am! I couldn't stand the stress of success!'

'Don't you see Rick - your slump is just a success neurosis. You found your .394 average dangerous, because you fantasised that it would bring about resentment.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Go! Means NOW!

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Teamwork!

'Congratulations on breaking through the glass ceiling of the company downstairs. However, I will be sending you a repair bill.'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

Upward Progress

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'That's the first cubicle I ever worked in.'

Win - win

The rope to success.

'And from what we've been able to determine, this is the tweak that broke the paradigm's back.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"We made a miscalculation, but it's consistent with our over-all strategy."

Gloat

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

"Ok, so you got the worm. What are you going to do with the rest of your day?"

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"We've come so far together...wouldn't it be great if they had frequent achiever miles?"

Dress for Success suit shop: 'Can I pay you for it later, after I get successful?'