Suburban Stylists Gifts

The Burbs

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

Ski lift mobile

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Redecorating Easter Island.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Ski kicker.

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

Duchess of Cambridge

Hedge Car

I'm thinking of something in a Cheddar.

"I used to be a racer: Giving people joy-rides is really really boring..."

"Larry, stop signing your memos with your initials. No one takes them seriously."

"I never know whether I should get good goggles I'll lose after three runs, or cheap ones I can't see out of after five runs."

Dueling Glue Guns: Glue unto Others as you would have them glue unto you.

People putting their grocery shopping into shopping carts that are cornucopias.

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

Poker Moms

The Urban Utility Belt

'Forget it, I don't support them anymore.'

"I hope I don't get any tanning lines."

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

Hairstyles to hide big ears

Mowing the Lawn

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"

"Notice anything different about me?"

"'Scuse me, you getting out?"

Tacky lawn ornament hunting. (It's a HUGE sport here in the United States!)

John Hancock practices his signature

'He just found out his human has invested in some daisy reins.'

Rather Smart All Round.

"Get me 3 tungsten halogen lights and a 5000K strobe. I'm trying to do something real natural here."