Suburb Scout Gifts

Supermarkets eyeing up suburban development site.

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Let's save a few so we can continue to piss off the neighbors for the next few weeks."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"He loves his leaf blower."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"The trees are laughing at us."

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

Madison Avenue and Maple Street

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

"I remember when this was all forest..."

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

'There's something about that Indian scout I don't trust.'

Great Urban Sprawl

Moving Van.

"So we figured why explore Mars when, closer to home, there's still so much we don't know about the Petersens."

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

"I told you everyone was moving out of the city!"

Poker Moms

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

"The Imaginary Playmate Meets the Invisible Fence"

Country Mouse and City Mouse Meet Suburb Mouse

The citizens of Fullerton, Nebraska, celebrate the historic meeting of East and West Coast Suburban Sprawl.

Now Wenger is taking the Mick!

"Yes, the hunt is on, but we have time to escape! The last message from their spotter on the hill was 'wrong way you idiots!'"

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

'His bark is worse than his bite.'

Why the Chicken Crossed the Road.

Abrupt end to Red Feather's scouting career.

Satellite crashes to earth.

Burbivore

"The boondocks R us, I guess."

"If the Greenlanders don't want to become Americans, Trump can buy our meadow! It's green, too, and we wouldn't have to keep pulling up the weeds!"