Subterranean Life Gifts

"Burrow here often?"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Outer Space Outsourcing

reincarnated worm...

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Artifishial Intelligence

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"I don't do windows."

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

Chicken soup for the sole.

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Diving Cat.

How Swordfish Are Born

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

Whale Shark Thoughts...

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"