Subterranean Life Pillows

"Burrow here often?"

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

Outer Space Outsourcing

reincarnated worm...

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

An 'out of this-world' soccor player stops the penalty his way!

Artifishial Intelligence

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

'Actually, a broken arm is not such a big handicap for me...'

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"I don't do windows."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

Diving Cat.

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

How Swordfish Are Born

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

An alien tries to hitch a lift at the side of the road

Whale Shark Thoughts...

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"