Substitute Teacher Sympathizer Gifts

The minister's a sub, so we're all going to sing the wrong hymn, pass it on …

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

Empty Headed Schoolboy

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

The Reindeer Strike

'You can't blame the kids for being restless when we have math teachers teaching French, and English teachers teaching science.'

Wildcats Strike.

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

"Thanks for substituting. I left you some private notes in cursive."

"A charming risk taker, who's not afraid to get bit. Boy, do I have an opportunity for you."

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

'Actually, this is my vacation. I'm a substitute teacher.'

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

Student about substitute teacher that is a sub sandwich: 'We got a good lookin' sub today.'

'Thank you, sir. NEXT, PLEASE!'

Adjunct educator substitute teacher.

'Hey, I heard we have a sub today!'

Keep students on their toes...

'You're a substitute teacher...I'm a substitute student!'

"I'm sorry we couldn't give you more time off for the funeral, Sam. You know how hard it is to find a substitute."

'A substitute teacher on a Friday! What an awesome way to start the weekend!'

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

"Remote teaching isn't good for torturing a substitute. For that you need a live audience."

Who'll fill in while your English teacher is on maternity leave? Probably and old-bag substitute. Teach English for a couple of months? I'd love to! Umm, nana? Aren't you too old to go back to teaching? Au contraire! They don't want anyone who could possibly get pregnant. Uh-oh. Age discrimination.

Substitute Teacher of the Year Award.

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

'Remember. . . they can smell fear.'

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"