Subscription Plan Enthusiasts Gifts

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

Time-of-the-month club.

'it's a special for nostalgia buffs.'

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

'Spending and consuming - that's my kind of patriotism.'

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

Club of the Month

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"

"So now, you have to become a subscription service."

Snakes on a Train

I don't know why you don't just cancel your subscription to the Rock-of-the-Month club.

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, they send me stuff they know I'll like and they bill me for it."

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

"You know very well what subscription forms."

'You give me one third, another third to the cashier near the escalator, and the balance before leaving the store.'

"I love boutique healthcare! I have a great doctor on retainer and I get this great subscription box every month!"

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.

'...and with our DeLuxe Plan, you actually get the unlisted number of your doctor's answering service!'

Larry hits a paywall while reading an eye exam chart.

'You're spoiling that squirrel, subscribing to the Nut - of - the - Month Club!'

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, the send me stuff they now I'll like, and they bill me for it."

'Mind you, I still get the urge to pop out and shoot a rat or two from time to time.'

Thank you for waiting. At this time, we'd like to invite our platinum-status members to begin the rapture process.

"Hello, I'm calling to cancel my subscription to the Punch-of-the-Month basket."