Subpoena King Gifts

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Counting ribs

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

TV-Man

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Guess what? I won again.'

The Unhappy King

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Do you want ketchup on your steak too?"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"