Subpoena Superstar Gifts

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

Suggestion Box

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Must you sing, 'I'm in the mood for love' everytime you want sex?"

I downloaded some SAT practice tests. I'll time you. Ok. Ready. "If Ann spends every day obsessing over stupid tests,

The Waiter

Cleaning the Horse

Child on a schedule.

"My schedule is just nuts."

"At you age I had already started a Pension Pot."

Rob Brydon.

Time Run

'Your standardized test scores are impressive, but we have no standardized jobs.'

'It's for show and tell!'

"You always seem to get good grades in Show and Tell."

"I'm sorry, but I just never know what to do with my hand towels when I get nervous."

Dog gets financial advice.

"Wait a minute - these are just the Ten Commandments of great customer service."

Drink kills.

'Now don't be deceived; I'm making this look very easy.'

"I just scrubbed."

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

'That's still blurry This might be a good time to show you your bill.'

Volunteer Fire Dept. I know I'm not a Dalmatian - I'm a volunteer, too!

Maid

...thunderbolt nd lightning...very, very frightening

The little engine that had a husband, kids, and a full-time job, and did everyone's emotional labor all the time."

'What do you have for the recently subpoenaed?'