Subliminal Messaging Pillows

"It's based on 'nudge' theory!"

"Textin’"

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

'I hate it when I have to talk on my phone.'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"You probably don't need to write 'sorry for the delayed reply' every time, Natasha."

"I'm afraid Sir, that much would be inaudible."

"We'll always have WhatsApp."

The early version of accidentally hitting 'reply all.'

Religious Speech

"Before we make contact with the departed, be aware that all communications will be recorded and maybe used for training purposes."

Best Dad Ever

'...George isn't in right now, but you can email him at...'

'This is goodbye, Goopta -- I've decided to make a career move to the Scientologists.'

"He apologizes for not contacting us during the previous session. The wi-fi was off in the hereafter."

'If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.'

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

Text Mingling.

"If they just added texting to how they calculate GDP, this economy would be growing by 20%."

"Quick! Nip to 't chippy and don't forget the mushy peas!"

Uh-Oh...

"We sent a message to any extraterrestrial beings in deep space. It was picked up by an observatory in Great Britain. They didn't understand it."

Message In Bottle In Bottle

"So, we're texting lesbian erotica to each other for months, and then I find out 'she' is a Republican congressman from Ohio."

I'm away from my desk, please leave a message after my interpretation of a beep.

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.