Subliminal Message Analyst Pillows

Opticians - I MUST BUY A PAIR OF GLASSES FROM THE MOST EXPENSIVE RANGE OF DESIGNER FRAMES...

Love at First Sight

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

Public Meetings: 'If you check the guide it's clear that you only need to say 'chair'.'

Great Urban Sprawl

'If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.'

FYI, he's staring at your crotch again.

Why did you pick this restaurant? I like the subliminal message it sends my dates. Yes. Yes.

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

UK Censors Office...

"If I behaved like your god, I'd be arrested."

'Those dang telemarketers have a knack for knowing exactly when we're sitting down for dinner don't they?'

"So, we're texting lesbian erotica to each other for months, and then I find out 'she' is a Republican congressman from Ohio."

"Quick! Nip to 't chippy and don't forget the mushy peas!"

Sorry about the hug. I thought your sign meant, "I love you, too."

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

"If you ask me, the fire has the most potential, but it's the smoke that has people talking."

We Hate the Left, Please Don't Leave Us Lefties

'Let's start by determining the type of person you are. Are you upfront, or do you give off subtle signals?'

"Was that a mixed signal?"

I want you to assess your own abilities on a scale of one to ten, - 'Okay,' - 'Intelligence,' - 'Five,' - 'Confidence' - 'Five,' - 'Social Skills' - 'Five,' - 'Why do you think you've rated them all as five' - 'I forgot to ask if ten was good or bad,'

Another Therapy Session Spent On Their Phones

'There's been a slight mistake. 1542 wasn't the average SAT score - it was the number of students who took the test.'

"I said an ark, Noah - build an ARK in the desert!"

'It's a new system. I step on some cracks, and I don't step on others.'

"If, every time I say something, you say 'tell me something I don't already know' I'm just going to stop talking to you."

"My position here is largely symbolic."

"Sir, we're just not reaching them. Only a small percentage of people own vinyl records, and hardly anyone thinks to play them backwards."

"It's based on 'nudge' theory!"

"Baldo, one of the foremost laws of economics is that when money begins pouring in...it starts pouring out."