Subliminal Message Enthusiast Pillows

Why did you pick this restaurant? I like the subliminal message it sends my dates. Yes. Yes.

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

'It's for you.'

Cars follow the sign to the mall rather than the sign to the manger.

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

In and Out tray filled with messages in bottles on a manned desk on a desert Island

Desert island has bottle bank and paper bank. Castaway sees message in bottle float towards island.

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"When you said you were taking me south on vacation I assumed you meant to the tropics."

Likes Makes Right

"I'm afraid Sir, that much would be inaudible."

'I hope you don't want to leave a message - he hates messages.'

"Just wanted to make sure you said no mayo that way I'll know to give you extra."

'Chapman, you misunderstood what I said about the Clark account. I said mull it over.'

Priest and mobile

Shoot...not literally, of course.

'If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.'

The Embarrassment of Van Gogh

"I'm not sure you see my point of view..." "From down here I'd say that's probably true!"

Bottle bank

"Enough already with the TripAdvisor reviews."

"Quick! Nip to 't chippy and don't forget the mushy peas!"

'I did not call you a 'bar fly'! I said; 'I'll be back, briefly'.'

'I said Mascarpone not Mask A Pony!'

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

"The sign said 'Home-Style Cooking.'"

'It's all been said already.'

"Boy that was a cryptic message you left with my mum! OK, I've come to park with a bat, now what?"

'Bloody air mail!'

"I think you got the wrong end of the stick...When we voted to use the money to help the Third World by buying livestock or providing clean water....we meant to send a cheque!"

Let me put it this way - make sure you wear clean underwear next Tuesday.

It says 'the sooner we get Twitter set up the sooner he can stop sending these bloody birds'.

"Ed! Help me with this puzzle. I can’t get any pieces to fit." "Put on your glasses, Louise. These are corn chips."

"I thought you were my gay best friend."

'When you asked if I'd 'like a little company' I didn't expect you to start trying to sell me your dry-cleaning business!'