Style Watcher Gifts

High Pants/Low Pants.

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

Pampered and poodled.

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

"I don't like your application."

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Do you do much walking?"

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"I feel there's a whole culture around mules."

A member of a very populous consumer group attempts to go shopping...

Changing Room Decisions

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."