Style-savvy Driver Gifts

'Can we do a quick respray to match her super new outfit?'

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

'Men pack. Women move.'

Rap-Nav.

"And this dashboard has all the electronic distractions grouped into one convenient confusion cluster."

LOUIE'S GARAGE, 'I can go along with replacing the carburetor and the battery, but what's this $128.43 fcor a 'new warp nacelle'?'

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

"I want you to work late. Put on your overtime shoes."

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

"Wow! I didn't even know Prada made pencil cases."

'Take ten years off the top.'

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

"We've ruled out anything trendy."

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like in skinny jeans?"

'Do the flu masks come in other colors?'

Blonde woman talking to airport bookshop assistant, 'I'll be spending a lot of time by the pool - do you have anything in pink that would match my bikini?'

'Woo-hoo!!' - Lemmings doing it with style.

'Growing a beard?' - 'Yes, not so much face to wash.'

What To Wear On The Interstate -The Spring Collection

'I'm mainly interested in something that won't show up on teaching evaluations.'

'Harris, now that you're in upper management, you'll need to up-grade that power tie.'

'Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?'

"I always carry a spare of trousers. Just in case I get a hole in one."

'To more closely match reality, all our crash test dummies now hold cellphones.'

A road running through a golf course with a sign beside it that reads "Fore!".