Style Over Substance Lover T-Shirts

'The government is trying to upgrade our image.'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Thank god I bought my layers."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

New Shoes.

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"Don't say a word! Your eyes, your hair, your T-shirt, your luggage—they say it all."

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

The Return Of The Minipants

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Swan in a trenchcoat.

Trendies, INC

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

Bald Man Overcomb

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

It bag and no knickers!

Georgian head-dress

How Gary got his groove back.

"If they're already killing you, you know they're the right fit."

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

SELECTIONS FROM THE "VICTOR'S SECRET" CATALOGUE

"If they fit, we can return them."

I just want to look natural. You know, like a movie star.

'This is me at my most masculine.'

"I agree, it is important to look good, but wearing high heels during a workout may be a little counter productive."