Style Over Substance Enthusiast T-Shirts

"This guy is such a poser even his boots have to be hip waders."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Thank god I bought my layers."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

New Shoes.

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"Don't say a word! Your eyes, your hair, your T-shirt, your luggage—they say it all."

The Return Of The Minipants

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Bald Man Overcomb

Trendies, INC

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

'I AM a cowboy so therefore they ARE cowboy boots, OK?'

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

Georgian head-dress

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

SELECTIONS FROM THE "VICTOR'S SECRET" CATALOGUE

"If they're already killing you, you know they're the right fit."

It bag and no knickers!

"If they fit, we can return them."

'This is me at my most masculine.'

"It's a midriff warmer."

"I forgot how to tie mine, too."

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"Would you care to step out of the shop and see how it looks in the fog, Mr. Holmes?"

'Wonderful, Lesley! The calligraphy course paid off!'