Style Over Substance Enthusiast T-Shirts

"This guy is such a poser even his boots have to be hip waders."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

New Shoes.

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'Your honor, if I may digress for a moment, who does your hair?'

"Don't say a word! Your eyes, your hair, your T-shirt, your luggage—they say it all."

The Return Of The Minipants

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Bald Man Overcomb

Trendies, INC

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

'I AM a cowboy so therefore they ARE cowboy boots, OK?'

"If they're already killing you, you know they're the right fit."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

It bag and no knickers!

Georgian head-dress

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

SELECTIONS FROM THE "VICTOR'S SECRET" CATALOGUE

"If they fit, we can return them."

'This is me at my most masculine.'

'Wonderful, Lesley! The calligraphy course paid off!'

"It's a midriff warmer."

"I had a dress once."

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"Would you care to step out of the shop and see how it looks in the fog, Mr. Holmes?"