Substance Scene Enthusiast T-Shirts

Altered States

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Newt sale

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

Bottom line, is that the sweet smell of success or your aftershave?

'Alright, throw in your resume and the 'Get A Job' potion will be complete.'

"We need rain."

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"Just a pinch, Helga ... spicy eye of newt doesn't agree with me."

Next camera crew 5 mins

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Aromatherapy for Men

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

Turkey Autopsy

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Evil Villain.

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

'Nothing to give him an excuse to say I smell like a cemetery'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."