Crime Scene Connoisseur T-Shirts

"So, did you hear about all the excitement?"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

The Philip Marlow family

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"We need rain."

Robber on treadmill

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

Turkey Autopsy

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

'Yeah, forensics tested the carpet sample and found something alright - but it wasn't blood,,, Any guess what it might have been, Mr McGruff'

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

Party balloons. Looks like an inside job. Helium.

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

Crime Writer's Society.

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

Penguin identity parade

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"Any clues?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon