Study Shifters Gifts

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"It all looks fine to me."

Pessimists v Optimists.

Like Minded

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

"I've decided to redefine as a GREAT artist."

'I'm working a double-shift today...'

After years of pointless therapy, Morris took up speleology and finally found himself.

'No. I haven't always been a lawyer.'

Modern Studying

"Baldo, you need to hit those books!"

'We son't have any goal posts to move...I'm going to need your jackets...'

'OK, I see you've worked as a driving instructor for the past 23 years.'

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

Psychiatry. Every time I try to reinvent myself, I get hit with a patent infringement suit.

"It my dad and Tio Tony! They just got off a double graveyard shift."

Happiness is blogging the first days of summer.

"I didn't think this shift was ever going to end, YOU are in for a long day my friend, and water-bottle is going to have to come in early."

'I lost my job at the farm, so I decided to try out nit-picking as a career...'

"Apparently night shifts undermine our health..."

"We're in luck - it's Father Time-and-a -Half."

'I need to work a different shift.'

"Did you know that people with four-year degrees earn twice as much as people with high school degrees?"

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

The fall.

'A fag end, and at the fag end of our shift! Let it lie.'

'- and how does the graveyard shift appeal to you?'

'Evidently, studying isn't one of the tasks you perform when you're multitasking.'

Employment office: Zombies for hire.

"Without my coffee, I'd never make it working nights."

"I can work for twelve straight hours without needing to be recharged."

Summer, we hardly knew ye...